Journal of the day,July 18th

I used to be the person who want a lot of things at once, Greedy-if u were to put them all in one word. For once, I was unable to distinguish what is the need and want even though I've study all these in econ. How silly a person can be when he over desire and turn out to become greedy and then everything become a dream and next the bubble burst in the split of second!

People always say it's good to dream blablabla... Yeap, agreed! How can one survive without dream! For me, to dream successfully, one must know how to control his/her dream. You're fail to live the dream if you let the dream to control you. I personally have been struggling to control all the "wants";dream;desires. So far so good I would say.

For once, I was obsessed with DSLR, lens, HTC Touch Pro 2-->Iphone 4-->HTC Desire-->BB Bold II and recently want to get a new laptop from Macbook Pro-->ASUS...... And thanks god to the "angle" for fighting all the "evil" thoughts inside me. Though I'm not sure when are the evils gonna make a return for revenge, but so far it has been well controlled. I no longer wan MBP, no longer crazy bout Canon EOS50D, lensss.... no longer wan BB... no longer want this and that. I thanks myself for the self control which has been well practiced for the past 7 years at least. It's hard especially when there's no one around you to control you when you get lost, what is left with you is the self control the self discipline.

Talking about self discipline, I know deeply that I've change a lot to some people. I know that I'm rude sometimes. I know that I'm lacking in emotional control. I'm struggling with it too, not that I don't know who I've becoming, what kind of person I've change. But I believe the "me" in me is still there. Maybe the new me is just a way to express the stress that i face recently, maybe it's just a temporary one, maybe i need time to adjust and have my so called "self control" back in practice. It's ok to make fun of how i've change, it's ok to say i'm rude, it's ok to throw the words back on me.... im ok with everything anything unless I've totally change to another person which is impossible. Give me time, I'm fighting both the greedy side and the evil side of me... i need some times! Sorry to those who I create disappointment to, hurt with words.... Another apologize to myself for losing my pure side... I'm gonna get it back no matter what's the cost.